Self-worth isn’t something you magically wake up with one day (wouldn’t that be nice?).
It’s built over time, like a really great playlist or the ability to say “no” to an obviously terrible decision (looking at you, neon-green margaritas). The key is to take small, doable actions that slowly rewire your brain from self-doubt to self-celebration.
So, instead of some quick-fix tips, this time, let’s go step by step, with suggestions for change one week at a time. Ready?
Week One: Break Up With Negative Self-Talk
You know that voice in your head that’s always critiquing you like a bad reality show judge? It’s time to evict it.
But first, you have to become aware of when that voice pops up. You see, there is a good chance that your negative self-talk is so habitualized that you don't always know you're doing it. So..
...this week, your job is to notice every time you say something unkind to yourself.
Action: Every time you catch yourself in a self-critical thought (e.g., “Ugh, I’m so awkward”), immediately follow it up with a counterpoint. Something like, “Actually, I’m unique and charming, and I appreciate myself.” Write these down in a notes app or a journal. The goal? By the end of the week, you’ll start recognizing that most of those mean thoughts are wildly untrue. You may even begin to laugh at them.
Negative inner dialogue is often part of the self-perpetuating lack of confidence you feel - you feel unsure of yourself, making you act unsure of yourself, making you decide your actions are proof that you should feel unsure of yourself. See? That's just plain mean.
Bonus Challenge: Give your inner critic a ridiculous name (Bartholomew? Esmerelda?) and literally tell them to hush when they start yapping.
Week Two: Treat Yourself Like a VIP
If you wouldn’t let your best friend talk badly about themselves, why are you doing it to yourself?
This week, practice treating yourself with the same kindness you’d show a loved one.
If it helps, imagine yourself as your own little sister or child. Would you treat your sister or child the way you treat yourself when you're feeling negative? Of course not!
Action: Pick one way each day to show yourself love. Maybe that’s taking a long bath, dressing in something that makes you feel amazing, or saying no to something you don’t want to do (because boundaries = self-respect). Show yourself the grace, patience, and support that'd you'd give to anyone else you love. You may stumble in this goal, but as soon as you catch yourself say, "I deserve better," and then give it to yourself.
Bonus Challenge: Write a love letter to yourself, listing five things you genuinely appreciate about YOU. Read it every morning.
Week Three: Upgrade Your Inner Circle
Spoiler alert:
If you surround yourself with people who drain your energy or constantly make you feel “less than,” your self-worth will take a hit.
This week is all about doing a friend-and-influence audit.
Action: Pay attention to how people make you feel. If someone consistently makes you doubt yourself, take a step back. Spend more time with people who uplift and encourage you. If you don’t have many of those, make it a mission to find them. (Hint: Join a class, a club, or an online group with like-minded people.)
Bonus Challenge: If you’re feeling brave, set a boundary with someone who’s been making you feel small. It can be as simple as limiting your time around them.
Week Four: Own Your Wins (Big & Small)
We often wait for others to acknowledge us, or we assume that if they don't, it must say something bad about us. This puts your self-worth in the hands of others. But self-worth is yours to take!
You accomplish awesome things every day, but if you’re not recognizing them, you’re missing out on a key confidence-building tool.
This week, you're going to own your wins and great traits!
Action: Start a “Win Journal.” Every night, write down at least one thing you did well that day. It can be as small as “I made a really good cup of coffee” or as big as “I asked for a raise.” By the end of the week, you’ll have proof that you are, in fact, a rockstar.
Bonus Challenge: Share one of your wins with a friend, out loud. Practicing self-recognition in front of others builds confidence faster.
Week Five: Do One Brave Thing
Self-worth grows when you step outside your comfort zone and prove to yourself that you can handle more than you think.
Taking chances can be scary but the effects are priceless as far as confidence goes!
This week, you’re going to do one thing that scares you (but in a fun way).
Action: Pick a challenge that stretches you a little. Maybe it’s speaking up in a meeting, going to an event alone, or finally trying that dance class. Whatever it is, remind yourself: Confidence isn’t about not being scared—it’s about doing the thing anyway.
Bonus Challenge: Celebrate it. Post about it, tell a friend, or throw yourself a mini dance party. The more you acknowledge your courage, the more it grows.
The Outcome
By the end of these five weeks, you won’t just feel a little better about yourself—you’ll have built actual habits that reinforce your self-worth every day. Keep stacking these confidence-building actions, and soon enough, you’ll see yourself the way you truly deserve to be seen: as someone worthy of all the good things.
Now go be your amazing, unstoppable self. And maybe treat yourself to a cupcake—you’ve earned it. 🎉
