In our quest for overcoming fears, we often feel compelled to deeply analyze our past and choices.
While better understanding what holds us back can be insightful, it's not always necessary for overcoming self-imposed obstacles. Sometimes, the mere recognition of our challenges and fears is enough to catalyze transformation.
In fact, what I often witness as I work with clients is that recurring questions like "Why do I do this?" or "What's wrong with me?" often become excuses to NOT move forward.
If we stop asking why and just acknowledge the choices that are holding us back, we can consciously decide to make new choices. Even if they're small steps, these acts of power will desensitize and retrain our brain and body to comfortably do what once paralyzed us. These acts can be significantly more powerful than merely discussing our fears. And they don't require a complete understanding of those fears to be effective.
This is why I call life coaching Action Therapy.

A Simple Example of Action Overcoming Fears
I once worked with a teenage singing student who was about to perform with a band of her peers for the first time, using a microphone. When I handed her the mic, she hesitated, clasping her hands together instead of taking it. She began explaining why she didn't like singing into a mic—how it felt awkward, how hearing herself threw her off, and how it made her performance suffer. Rather than delving into a detailed discussion about her fear, I simply acknowledged her feelings, saying, "I totally understand you," and handed her the mic again.
She took it, sang with the band, and never expressed that fear again. The act of doing the thing that scared her proved far more powerful than talking about it. By facing her fear head-on, she overcame it without needing to dissect every reason behind it.
Have you been trying to understand why you're afraid of asking for a raise? Stop asking why and start preparing what you'll say to your boss.
Are you wondering why you feel guilty when you try to set and keep boundaries with your kids? Stop asking why, keep your boundaries, and deal with the guilt until the guilt fades away.
Do you stay in bad relationships because you're afraid of being alone? Stop asking why and go be alone until it doesn't scare you anymore.
Why Action Over Analysis for Overcoming Fears?
- Immediate Feedback: Taking action provides immediate feedback and often shows that our fears are unfounded or completely manageable.
- Builds Confidence: Every small victory boosts confidence, creating a positive feedback loop.
- Reduces Anxiety: Prolonged analysis can sometimes heighten anxiety, while action can reduce it by shifting focus from thinking to doing.
- Empowers Change: Taking action empowers you to change your narrative from one of fear to one of capability.
- Changes Your Normal: Change can be uncomfortable, even when it's right. But it's only uncomfortable because it's different. Changed behavior that is repeated will become your new normal.
To sum it up... While understanding our past can be super beneficial, it’s not a prerequisite for overcoming fears. Recognizing and then confronting our fears through deliberate actions can lead to significant transformations. You can read a little more about this in my post about Saying Yes to Things That Scare You.
The power of doing should never be underestimated; sometimes, the best way to overcome our fears is simply to face them through action.
My wish for you right now in this moment, is to feel motivated to let go of the need to understand "why" and start implementing actions to change your life. And if you want help figuring out how to do that, hit me up for a free chat. This is my jam. Use me!